Vintage Snobbery: Ted Baker - Quella Vintage Style Racers

Regardless of what some flawed self-assessment quiz says, I think that in some ways I really am a Cycling Snob. I just saw that Ted Baker (the upscale British designer clothing line) and Quella Bicycles (maker of British urban-fixie bikes) have teamed up to make "vintage-style" racers. "A thoroughly modern take on an Italian classic" the Quella website declares. Lugged frames, chrome-moly steel, Brooks saddles, and (mostly) Campagnolo components -- how could a retrogrouch find something to criticize? At a quick glance, maybe nothing. But look closer.

Just wondering. . . will that copper plating turn green with age? Notice that the bike comes with DiaCompe 610 centerpull brakes -- which should mean plenty of tire clearance -- but then look at that paper-thin gap between the rear tire and the seat tube. Might as well have used Campy's tire-skimming skeleton brakes. Those are listed as 28 mm tires, which isn't bad, but don't expect to get anything bigger in there. A little extra clearance never hurt anyone. By the way - what's with the big-ring-big-cog combo on the bike in the photo?

Not only that, but read the descriptions and the specs:

I'll admit, it's a cool head badge.
(photo from pocket-lint.com)

"Like a shimmering salmon that soldiers upstream, Ted believes one should always break from the shoal and follow their own current. . . Whether you take the rushing torrent of the town or the trickling tributaries of the country, each stunning showpiece is flawlessly designed with style and substance."

Actually, I'd say it's a lot more style than substance. Amidst all the pretentious-sounding prose there's really not a lot of actual, useful info given. Like, where are the frames made? Are they actually being built in Britain, or farmed out to the same Taiwanese factories that make a lot of other vintage-style, designer-labeled frames? (I'm guessing the latter). I checked out the company's About Us page and found lots more Rapha-esque marketing hype that talks a lot more about style and fashion than actually riding bikes.

The bikes, which are differentiated by color, are named "Redfin," "Bluetail," and "Greengill." For some reason, the model names and marketing puffery for the bikes are full of some kind of "fish" theme. "Let your scales shine brighter than the rest with Ted Baker/Quella . . . and ensure you never go with the flow."

That's right - be a salmon. Ride against traffic.

That's a modern seat lug without a doubt. Not Nervex.
Man, somebody did a job on that seat post, didn't they?
(photo from pocket-lint.com)

The listed specs seem a bit off to me. For one thing, the claim is that the frames are built with Nervex lugs. They certainly aren't any of the better-known ornate lugs that Nervex was known for, though there were some more plain models made -- but the big question is where would anybody get an adequate supply of Nervex lugs for a production run of modern bikes? The lugs have been out of production for decades. If I had to guess, I'd say that somebody in the marketing department (probably somebody raised in the era of welded aluminum and molded carbon fiber frames) has heard people talk about vintage steel bikes with Nervex lugs, and came to the conclusion that any classic lugged bike had "Nervex lugs" so that's what they called 'em.

There are only two sizes available - which means that many people would have an awfully hard time fitting the bike properly. Be ready to break out those extra long, extra tall stems and seatposts. Here's the size chart:

Notice there is about a 5 or 6-in. range of suggested heights for each of the two frame sizes. Also, do the British have a completely baffling way of measuring frame angles, or is it just Quella? Head tube angle 73 degrees. Seat tube angle 56.8 degrees?!

Of course, I'm all for lugged steel frames, and head badges, Brooks saddles - and many other elements that a bike like this brings, but I could really do without the pretensions. By the way, BikeRadar calls the bike "the perfect accompaniment for any self-respecting cycling snob." That alone kind of caps it off for me.

The Ted Baker specials, with their copper plating (to match the rivets in the Brooks saddle!), their leather bar wrap, supposedly Nervex (but probably not) lugs, and their pretentious marketing are set to retail for $1995, direct from Quella, or from the Ted Baker store in London. No American dollar pricing is given, but the current exchange rate puts it at a little over $3000. Not horrible, but for that kind of money, if I wanted a modern-but-classic bit of British steel framebuilding, I'd probably check out Mercian cycles and get a truly handbuilt bike made to my specs and measurements.

So, am I being a Snob by reacting negatively to this overly style-conscious attempt to market a "modern classic" bike? Or am I an Anti-Snob reacting against a bike obviously being marketed to overly style-conscious bike snobs? That just might be tougher than the Riddle of the Sphinx.