Welcome back to Bike Safety 101, where I pick apart old bike safety "educational" films and other materials - most of which would generally leave a person with the idea that they'd be much better off if they never threw a leg over a bicycle again. I haven't had a Bike Safety 101 post in a long time, but I recently watched a particularly dreadful old film that demonstrates that Americans weren't the only ones cranking out corny anti-bike propaganda. Today's film: The Ballad of the Battered Bicycle, a British film from 1947. The film features British stage and screen actor Stanley Holloway (maybe best known for My Fair Lady) as the rhyming narrator.
For reasons I can't quite fathom, the first full minute of this 9 ½-minute film is a montage of circus/carnival scenes:
And then we get to our narrator, Holloway, as some kind of carnival sideshow barker:
"I'll tell you now a dreadful tale of sorrow and of woe about a wicked crime committed not so long ago. . .
. . . And that's it for the carnival, never to be seen again in this film. At this point, the film cuts to the bike shop where Henry, the hapless subject of the story, gets a new bike.
As his father pays for the shiny new bike, Henry immediately heads off on a path of destruction. "Now Henry's face lights up with joy - the bike shall be his pride - his father stays behind to pay - but he jumps on to ride."
Goofing off with friends and riding no hands, Henry and his new bike take the first of many spills.
Little Henry can't ride a straight line to save his life (literally and figuratively). Weaving down the middle of the road, he runs afoul of cars, lorries (that's trucks to us Yanks), produce carts, and buses.
. . . not to mention riding double - a staple of corny bike safety films.
Gradually Henry's bike gets shabbier and shabbier - with wobbly wheels, missing parts, and fenders held on with string.
And it all leads to this: careening through a "halt" sign, into the path of a bus - cutaway to the face of fear - and the tragic outcome.
Luckily for Henry, he's alive, but the bike is toast. The bus driver and all the passengers gather around him to point and jeer. "The passers by all gather round with faces hard and grim - and Henry understands at last what people think of him. Now every mouth spits out his name - whispers on every breath - that is the boy, young Henry Brown, who rode his bike to death."
And at this point, Henry is put on trial for "murdering" his bicycle.
"The judge and jury stare at him with pained and saddened eyes - while on the table cold and still, the battered cycle lies."
One by one, witnesses come forward to testify against Henry for reckless riding and for not taking good care of his bike. The jury finds him guilty, and the judge (also played by the narrator, Holloway) sentences him to two years walking.
"The moral of this yarn is clear - to stress it I should like - you have a duty to the world when you ride on your bike."
So, the film begins with a carnival - and ends in a courtroom. And the barker becomes the judge. Makes perfect sense (?).
Other than showing some examples of bad riding behavior, there isn't really a lot of rider education in the film. There is no depiction or discussion of what better riding might look like, or how to share the road properly and safely. And the biggest concern in Henry's trial is NOT that he ruined what seemed to be a pretty nice bike, or that he nearly got killed - but rather, that he might have "upset the bus."
The overall message of the film might have something to do with its producer - the Petroleum Films Bureau, which produced "informational," and "instructive" documentary films about the petroleum industry and automotive-centered topics, in addition to a few other "general interest" subjects.
Not that you're likely to learn anything from it - but if you enjoy corny old films as much as I do (or even just enjoy picking them apart) - you can watch The Ballad of the Battered Bicycle here:
As this ridiculous film opens, we are introduced one by one to the kids who will be participating in the Bicycle Safety Camp -- apparently against their will, as if it were some kind of court-ordered (or in this case, parent-ordered) driving school for people with multiple moving violations.
One by one, meet the campers:
First comes Boomer, strutting off the bus with a backwards ball cap and an oversized boom-box on his shoulder. "Check out Boomer, he's a rockin' jock. Scores on the field -- speeds down the block."
Then there's Julie, the rich girl, being helped out of a limo by her chauffeur. "Julie ran a stop sign on her way to the mall. Her dad took her charge cards, and that's not all."
Rita arrives, skipping to the park with a pair of skates slung over her shoulder. "Now Rita can do every trick on skates, but bike tricks are more than her family can take."
The littlest one at the camp is Arthur, the stereotypical glasses-wearing, book-loving dweeb. "Arthur loves his books and he's smart in school too, but when it comes to bikes he's really got no clue."
Last comes Rebop, the supposed "bad boy" with a mullet who wears a neon-splashed sleeveless shirt, shredded jeans, and fingerless gloves. "Rebop's tough - a really funky dude, but on a bike he needs a change in aaattituuude!"
And then there's this guy - Sam Sprocket, the camp counselor. Sam apparently likes to Rap, but really shouldn't. "So you silly silly campers, you think bike safety's a bore, Well you're gonna love it, love it, you're gonna beg for more. You're gonna say Sam Sprocket, I just can't get enough. When this camp is done you're gonna love this safety stuff. 'Cuz when you ride like a dope, you end up in the dirt. You sink, squirm, or crawl, all embarrassed and hurt. But when you practice bike safety, you can cruise, you can fly. You can get where you are goin' just like a jet up in the sky. You can ride down the road, with the greatest of ease. And you won't risk your life and you won't skin your knees. Although you think you're above it, you're gonna ride safe and love it. Ha ha."
Word.
One of the first lessons is, of course, to wear a helmet. And Rebop the bad boy refuses to wear one. "Bike helmets are for babies," he says. So, to prepare the kids for a future of shaming anyone who dares go without a helmet, Sam and the rest of the campers dance around him in a circle and berate him with an insipid rap about how all kinds of professional athletes wear helmets, and how "a smack on the head can ruin all your days." "Wear a helmet every single time you ride. Strap it on, Rebop. Wear your helmet with pride."
Next, some good advice for little Arthur, who grabs one of the biggest bikes on the rack. "My mom says I should have a bike I can grow into," he says. "Well, Sam Sprocket says you should have a bike that fits you now." Good advice for Arthur's parents, too. Sam then gives a quick lesson on bike fit . . .
. . . Then breaks into an awful (and obviously lip-synched) song about inspecting your bike before you ride.♫"Check out your bicycle before you ride. Don't neglect it, inspect it, to be sure and secure as you ride. Check the foot brakes. Check the hand brakes. Check the pressure. Kids decide to check out your bicycle before you ride." ♫
In the next sequence, Sam Sprocket manages to be in 3 places at once (through the "magic" of video) to accompany the two oldest campers, Rita and Rebop, on the road, while Julie and Boomer are on a quiet residential street, and little Arthur is on the sidewalk -- yes, the sidewalk. And through another annoying synthesized musical number, we get a range of riding safety tips . . .
♫ "Stop. STOP. Look all about. Make sure nobody's coming, THEN move out." ♫
♫"We keep to the right and ride WITH the traffic. If you ride against the traffic, cars get UPTIGHT. Ride WITH the traffic, and keep to the right." ♫
♫"What's that say? Stop. STOP! So, what do we do? Stop. STOP. STOP! With your foot-brakes. STOP! With your hand-brakes. STOP! I didn't hear you. STOP!" ♫ Yes, please. Stop. Please.
♫ "When it's time to turn, here's what you've got to learn. Look around and back this way to make SURE it's OK. Then give 'em a sign, and you'll be fine." ♫
♫"An intersection is a dangerous place. Get off and walk it. Get off and walk it."♫
♫"Concentrate. Concentrate. Use your head. Concentrate. Concentrate on what's ahead."♫
My favorite scene, and one that I hope resonates strongly for any kids still watching -- A lady getting out of her car throws her door open in front of the kids, who manage to stop safely anyhow (so no harm done, but still. . .) . Rebop is about to tell her off with some of his bad-boy attitude: "Yo, Lady, you shoulda' . . ." then re-thinks his approach, and tries a polite "Would you mind being more careful next time, ma'am?" The lady's reaction? Looks at the riders with a "so what" glance, then turns and WALKS AWAY while the kid is talking. No response -- not even a sheepish "Sorry" or insincere "My bad." It's probably the most realistic thing in the whole video!
After all the musical safety tips are done, the kids take a "riding test" and review all of Sam's safety lessons on a "magical" blackboard that shows video clips.
After passing their test, the whole team raps about bike safety, and how much they love it. And perhaps not surprisingly, the MOST IMPORTANT safety rule of all is to Always Wear a Helmet. Sam then tells the campers they get to keep the bikes they used at the camp (admission fees must have been pretty expensive!).
♫"So you all learned the rules, and camp is done. See, it wasn't boring. Bike safety is FUN! We rode down the road with the greatest of ease, without risking our lives, without skinning our knees!"♫
In the end, all the kids wave to Sam and ride off on their new bikes, hopefully to be good little bicycling citizens who follow the rules -- and ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Now I think I understand why Sam wears a helmet at all times.
You can watch Bicycle Safety Camp right here, but I need to warn you that it's around 20 minutes long, which is about twice as long as most vintage safety films, and easily twice as long as it needs to be. Also, The Retrogrouch is not responsible for any ill effects the music may have on viewers.
There hasn't been an entry in the Bike Safety 101 series for many months now, but today's entry is a neat little blast from the past, Bicycles Are Beautiful from 1974, featuring one of the best-known celebrities of the day, Bill Cosby.
Current (and very sad, disturbing) revelations notwithstanding, in the 1970s Bill Cosby was a man on top of the world. After years of standup comedy and numerous top-selling comedy albums, his groundbreaking role on the television series I Spy (Cosby was the first African-American to have a starring role in a network TV series), followed by his first sitcom, The Bill Cosby Show ('69 - '70 - also a first, as the first African-American to have his own eponymous show), a 2-year stint on the Children's Television Workshop series The Electric Company, then his animated show Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, Cosby was probably one of the most recognizable people in America, and beloved by people of all ages.
Cosby presents the film from the workbench of a bike shop.
His manner is quite a bit more subdued than the Cosby seen
in countless Jello Pudding commercials spanning three decades.
In 1974, Cosby had BA and MA degrees in Education - his BA from Temple University was in Physical Education, which might explain why he played a Phys.Ed teacher in the original Bill Cosby Show, and it seemed natural that he would be involved in teaching kids to read through The Electric Company, and teaching life-lessons through his animated Fat Albert show on Saturday mornings. It makes perfect sense then that Cosby would be chosen to present bike safety advice by the National Safety Council, which helped create the film with financial assistance from McDonalds. Schwinn was also credited among the film's contributors.
Bicycles Are Beautiful was well-timed for the American bike boom, which reached its peak in 1974, and saw record numbers of adults hitting the streets on two wheels. However, while the film does recognize and validate adult cycling, it still primarily focuses on children in much the same way most other bike safety films have throughout the decades. Social messages aside, it's likely that the first thing viewers will notice is Cosby's unusual way of pronouncing "Bicycle" -- it sounds very much like "bi-SIGH-cle."
"BiSIGHcles are beautiful. Today there are over 70 million bicycling Americans to prove it. . . Lots of people are rediscovering how much healthy fun bicycles are. Getting out in the clean fresh air is good for your heart, your lungs, and your circulation, and your figure."
"And you don't have to stand in any lines to fuel up a bike. 'Cause the only fuel your bike burns is what your body provides. So you're not polluting the air, either.
Bicycles Are Beautiful is not just a feel-good, bike-friendly look at Americans' rediscovery of bicycles, though. The main point is as a safety film, and is mostly structured around the National Safety Council's "Bicycle Safety Test."
No, this is not a presentation of suggested cycling apparel. Instead, it is a demonstration of what can happen when a cyclist gets "doored." This poor guy is prepared to go over the bars in the name of rider education.
There's also a bit of bicycle history, as Cosby brings out several evolutionary steps towards the modern bicycle. Here, he shows an early wooden-framed and wooden-wheeled "bone shaker."
"If you see a picture of people riding one of these and smiling, don't believe that. They're probably gritting their teeth." He also shows a penny farthing and an early safety bicycle. If I had to guess, I'd say that the bikes were probably provided by Schwinn, which once had an extensive collection of historic bicycles.
As mentioned, most of the film is structured around a "bicycle safety test." Various scenarios are shown with a series of questions that might be multiple choice or true/false. This one was "When driving at night, which one of these is most important?" Anyone? Anyone?
And yes, the film refers to cyclists as "drivers." As narrator, Cosby makes a strong point of that. He says, "The National Safety Council and the new concept in bicycle safety education recognizes the bicycle as a full-fledged vehicle, just like a car or a motorcycle, so you're bound by most of the same traffic laws." Yes - a "new concept" in bicycle safety education. One of the emphasized points of the film is that "National standards NOW call for all cyclists to drive on the right-hand side, with the traffic." It's true that this point about cycling on the right did run counter to what many people believed at the time (and many apparently still believe today), but I'd like to mention that almost every bike safety film I've discussed here, from the '40s through the '70s, tells cyclists to ride on the right, with the flow of traffic - so it was not necessarily "new."
After stressing the importance of keeping a bike in good working order, Cosby talks about consulting some of the many "good bicycle books" that are available with detailed instructions on how to make repairs and adjustments. He then shows a school program in California where, at the request of the students, the shop class curriculum was changed to include a course on bicycle repair. The kids would bring in old bicycles and learn how to take them apart and make them like new again. I would have loved a class like that when I was in Junior High. Nowadays, few schools still have shop classes at all, so I wonder if there is still a program like this one anywhere in the U.S.?
Perhaps anticipating the short attention span of the kids who were the likely target of the film, there is a brief interlude with "SomeReally Interesting Stuff About Bicycles & Bicycling."
"The fastest speed ever attained on a bicycle was 138 miles per hour. That's right, it was done in 1973 by a San Bernadino doctor named Allen Abbott." The film doesn't mention that the record was a motor paced record (that is, Abbott was riding behind a pace car which helped shield him from the wind. That's not to take anything away from the record, however, and it stood until 1985 when John Howard raised it to 152 mph. The current record is 166.9). Dr. Abbott was a major force in exploring the speed possibilities of human powered vehicles in the '70s and '80s.
The film also takes some time to talk about bike commuting, the increase in bike infrastructure, and the increase in funding for such projects as bikeways. "There are now over 25,000 miles of bikeways in use in the United States," Cosby tells us. Next, then-Mayor Jerry Patterson of Santa Ana, California talks about his city's projected bike lanes and trails, with the goal that such routes would be within ⅛ mile of every student's home, so kids from "Kindergarten through Grade 12" will be able to ride to school in relative safety. I wonder if the kids in Santa Ana today ride to school at all, or if, like most kids in the U.S., they are chauffeured in a long parade of minivans and SUVs.
As another nod to adult cycling, the film also mentions the growth of bicycle clubs, like the American Youth Hostels, a club that "organizes bicycle tours all over the world," and the "oldest bicycle club in America," the League of American Wheelmen. Cosby mentions how the League's membership dropped to virtually nothing in the middle of the century, but had seen a tremendous resurgence by the '70s.
Then it's back to the safety test:
Here was one of the options for a question about how to make a left turn at a busy, multi-lane intersection. The "correct" answer, at least according to the film, would perhaps be acceptable for children, but would likely seem incredibly tedious, or even unacceptable to most adult cyclists. Remember, for all the mentions of adults using bicycles as practical transportation, much of the film is still aimed at kids.
Another part of the "safety test" involves identifying possible hazards on this young man's bike ride.
At the end of the test - "the moment of truth" - Cosby tells viewers to total up their scores, and there are 100 points possible. "If you got between 90 and 100, you are a credit to the biSIGHcling fraternity. Between 80 and 90 means you're getting there, but you need to study up on your biSIGHcling safety. If you get below 80, you don't know enough to be out on the street alone. . . If you get below 50, you'd better put the training wheels back on."
I imagine that most Retrogrouch Blog readers should easily be able to score 90 - 100% on the test. (If you watch the film, track your score and leave a comment). Yes, I got 100.
After a final (and very dry) message from the head of the National Safety Council, it's back to Bill in the bike shop, ready to go for a ride on one of those fancy 10-speeds with "caliper brakes and Italian derailleurs."
"It's time for a safe little spin around the block. . . Maybe we'll meet down the road somewhere, on a bike of course. And just remember, bicycles are beautiful."
As the final credits roll, one will notice that the producer of the film was Lee Mendelson, who was perhaps best known for producing the beloved Peanuts television specials and films. And the music was composed and performed by Vince Guaraldi, whose music was immortalized in those same Peanuts specials.
Overall, Bicycles Are Beautiful has an upbeat, groovy message about bicycling that reflects the two-wheeled reawakening of the time. Compared to some of the stern or even scolding bike safety films of the '50s and '60s that I've discussed here, this film was a step forward in that it at least acknowledged the viability of bicycles for commuting and transport, and not just as toys for kids. Though hailed by some writers for debunking certain misconceptions about where cyclists should ride, or their very rights to the road, my take on the film is that it is certainly more progressive than earlier examples, but its factual information is mostly par for the course. Nevertheless, in watching Bicycles Are Beautiful, one can't help but feel a fun sense of nostalgia.
I've tried for some time now to locate a good clean copy of Bicycles Are Beautiful, but the only one I've been able to find anywhere is a relatively mediocre transfer (with distracting counter digits imposed in the foreground) in two parts on YouTube.
Here's part one:
And part two:
Enjoy!
And if that's not quite enough groovy '70s Cosby nostalgia for you, take about half-a-minute to check out the opening theme from the original Bill Cosby Show - probably the most funk-tastic TV theme song of all time. Hikky-Burr, by Quincy Jones, with vocals by Cosby.
Welcome back to Bike Safety 101, where I pick apart old bike safety "educational" films and other materials - most of which would generally leave a person with the idea that they'd be much better off if they never threw a leg over a bicycle again. I haven't had a Bike Safety 101 post in a long time, but I recently watched a particularly dreadful old film that demonstrates that Americans weren't the only ones cranking out corny anti-bike propaganda. Today's film: The Ballad of the Battered Bicycle, a British film from 1947. The film features British stage and screen actor Stanley Holloway (maybe best known for My Fair Lady) as the rhyming narrator.
